Barbara Kuehteubl

Barbara Kuehteubl (nee Schramm) was born on December 24, 1935.  She was the middle of five children, Irene and Christa were older and Ilse and Alfred were younger. She grew up in a one-bedroom apartment in a section of Berlin, Germany called Haselhorst (her mother lived there for 63 years).  During WWII, air raid sirens would go off in the city on a regular basis, and they would have to rush to the basement with the other families who lived in the same complex and wait there until the danger had passed. She said she wasn’t scared because she always thought it was an adventure. She would often play with her friends in the building rubble left behind by dropped bombs.  The children would trade pieces of shrapnel as kids today trade Pokemon cards.  Barbara’s father was drafted in 1943 and the family never saw him again, so it was up to her mother to what she could to protect and feed her children.  Shortly after he left, the rest of the family fled to East Prussia on a wagon train. It was there in a refugee camp that Barbara and her mom contracted Typhoid Fever and almost died. It took them months to recover, and by that time it was safe to return to Berlin, so they travelled 9 months on that wagon train to get back home where her mother used straw and old carpets to keep her children warm.  In 1947 the family received a letter saying their beloved Papa had died in a prisoner of war camp in 1944. But Barbara always said she never felt hard done by because once the war had ended none of her friends at school had fathers, and that they were “all in the same boat”. Her childhood and teen years were definitely not easy, but she often said it was still a time filled with love and laughter.  Barbara was a very good student. The only times she’d get into trouble with the teacher was when she laughed too loud.  She had that easy and infectious laugh her entire life.

At 19, Barbara saw a billboard in Berlin that said “Come to Canada, land of opportunity!”, so she made the big and brave decision to immigrate. She landed in Halifax in October 1955 with no Canadian contacts, very little money and no knowledge of English. She ended up in Toronto where she worked as a nanny for a short time (where she was not treated very nicely being a German girl). She decided to train to be a Registered Nursing Assistant and lived and trained on site at the Lakeshore Psychiatric Hospital. After Lakeshore Psych closed in 1979, all staff were transferred to Queen Street Mental Health Centre (CAMH), and Barbara finished out the rest of her career there.  She was always very well respected at work, both by staff and patients and made life-long friends along the way.

Barbara met her future husband Fred at the Toronto German Club in 1956. Every weekend her and her friends would go dancing there.  They got married in 1958 and had their two daughters, Gabriela in 1960 and me, Jennifer, in 1967.  By the early ‘70’s, all the Schramm siblings, except for Christa, were living in the Mississauga/Bradford/Barrie areas and spending every weekend together at each other’s houses.  There were so many fun family times, Barbara loved to entertain and she and Fred would host family and friends almost every weekend.  The annual Christmas party they gave for family, friends and co-workers was often attended by up to 100 people, and Barbara would do almost all the cooking herself.  As a nurse she always worked shift, so her mother Anne would come from Berlin every year and stay for extended periods of time to help with the children and around the house.  Throughout the years there were also many fun and memorable summer weekends spent at Go Home Lake in Muskoka.

The 80’s brought wonderful times and difficult times. Gabriela got married to Ed and they gave Barbara two beautiful granddaughters, Stephanie in 1983 and Samantha in 1987. Then came her divorce from Fred which was extremely hard on her, but she fought through with the great strength and positive attitude she had throughout her entire life.  Right up until she passed, she never complained, and always stayed strong and true to herself.  With her incredible positivity and sense of humour, she always had a smart comment to make, either to cheer us up or just make us laugh. In later years these witty words would often come at the expense of her ex-husband which always made the grandkids laugh and shake their heads. “Oh Oma!”, they would say.

The 90’s started with Jennifer and Ron’s wedding and continued with more joy for the family with the births of Alexander in 1994 and Aidan in 1996.  After Barbara retired, she moved to Barrie to be closer to the family. In her retirement, she enjoyed spending more time with her daughters and their families, sister Ilse, brother Alfred, going swimming at the Allandale Rec Centre in Barrie and playing euchre at the euchre club every week.  The first marriage of a grandchild happened in 2010 when Stephanie got married to Adam, and then along came her first great-grandchildren, Greyson in 2012 and Rowan in 2016.

In 2013, Barbara was involved in a car accident that nearly took her life. She spent 8 weeks in hospital and rehabilitation fighting back from internal bleeding and 12 broken bones. Again, her incredible strength, determination, willpower and positivity got her through.  “This too shall pass” she would say, and it did.  She never drove again after that, turned in her drivers’ license and said she never really enjoyed driving anyway.

In 2015 came Samantha and Jim’s wedding with two more great-grandsons following in 2018 (Kaden) and in 2021 (Kieran).  In the summer of 2015, Barbara made a move into the Waterford Retirement Residence in Barrie.  She often said it was one of the best decisions she’d ever made to move there.  Barbara was always an incredibly social person, and she loved the companionship of so many friends (some of whom she lost over the years she was there, but she would simply say ‘Well I guess it’s time to make some new friends’).  The activities such as euchre, bingo and happy hour kept her busy and happy (unless someone sat in her favourite chair, she would let them know it too).  But her favourite thing was having the hair salon right down the hall from her room.  She had a standing appointment every Thursday at 10am. Barbara rarely missed a weekly hairdressing appointment in the last 60 years of her life (she always said she ‘felt like a million bucks’ every time after having her hair done). She was always very proud of her appearance and even at 85 would still ensure make-up, hair and jewellery were all in place before heading up to the dining room for breakfast (where she would set her table mates straight if any of them wore white after Labour Day).

Sadly, due to Covid and continuing deterioration of her health (which included a very complicated surgery in September 2021 that had her back to a difficult rehab for 8 weeks), Barbara suffered greatly in the last 18 months.  True to her nature, she never gave up and she never complained, even when the pain became unbearable. She tried so hard to never let her pain or frustration show.  She always had a smile, always had an interest in how others were doing and was always so very proud of her loving family.  She always wanted to protect us from pain or sadness, even her own. She was selfless to a fault, never wanted to be a burden, never wanted to bother anyone. Even at Christmas, on her 86^th birthday when she knew nothing more could be done, she still said “And this too shall pass”.  And because we worshipped her and needed her so much, we wanted so fiercely to believe it. But her time had come.  The fight was over. She left us on her terms and according to her wishes. For everything she gave in her life to so many, she deserved to be given what she wanted in the end. To pass peacefully and without pain in the arms of her loving daughters.  We will miss everything about her, and we will never forget all she gave us, all she did for us and all she was to us.  She was the heart of our family.  Like the words to one of her favourite songs, ‘I’ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places’, she will continue to live on in our hearts and in the wonderful memories she was so much a part of our entire lives. We will love you and miss you forever Mom and Oma. Rest in peace. You so deserve it.